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Atheist Couple

There was an atheist couple who had a child. The couple never told their daughter anything about the Lord.

One night when the little girl was 5 years old, the parents fought with each other and the dad shot the mom right in front of the child.

Then, the dad shot himself. The little girl watched it all. She was then sent to a foster home. The foster mom was a Christian and took the child to church.

On the first day of Sunday School, the foster mom told the teacher that the girl had never heard of Jesus, and to have patience with her.

The teacher held up a picture of Jesus and said, \”Does anyone know who this is?\”

The little girl said, \”I do, that\’s the man who was holding me the night my parents died.\”

Blind Men and the Elephant, The

There is an analogy to how differently we each understand or experience God in a classic story about three blind men and the elephant. As each of the three blind men are trying to understand exactly what the elephant is like, but experiencing different parts of the same thing.

The first blind man is feeling all over the leg of the elephant and says to the others, \”It is like a strong tree.\” But, the second is holding the trunk, explaining, \”It is like an ever changing vine.\”

Still, the third blind man is running his hands across the large body of the elephant, exclaiming, \”No, it is endless, like a wide mountain.\”

Brand New You

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked \”Is my time up?\”

God said, \”No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.\”

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, \”I though you said I had another 40 years?\”

God replied, \”I didn\’t recognize you.\”

FATHER\’S ABC\’S

A-lways trust your children to God\’s care.

B-ring them to church.

C-hallenge them to high goals.

D-elight in their achievements.

E-xalt the Lord in their presence.

F-rown on evil.

G-ive them love.

H-ear their problems.

I-gnore not their childish fears.

J-oyfully accept their apologies.

K-eep their confidence.

L-ive a good example before them.

M-ake them your friends.

N-ever ignore their endless questions.

O-pen your heart to their love.

P-ray for them by name.

Q-uicken your interest in their spirituality.

R-emember their needs.

S-how them the way of salvation.

T-each them to work.

U-nderstand they are still young.

V-erify your statements.

W-ean them from bad company.

e-Xpect them to obey.

Y-earn for God\’s best for them.

Z-ealously guide them in Bible truth.

John 3:16

In the city of Chicago, one cold, dark night, a blizzard was setting in. A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner, while other people were in and out of the cold. The little boy was so cold that he wasn\’t trying to sell many papers. He walked up to a policeman and said, \”Mister, you wouldn\’t happen to know where a poor boy could find a warm place to sleep tonight would you? You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and down the alley, and it\’s awful cold in there at night. It sure would be nice to have a warm place to stay.\”

The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, \”You go down the street to that big white house and you knock on the door. When they open the door you just say \’John 3:16\’ and they will let you in.\”

So the boy walked up the steps to...